My sister posted this on FB highlighting #5 (“If you’re able to lie to yourself and others so much that you can convince yourself that kombucha actually tastes good, you are a true hipster. If you are willing to grow the slimy culture in your own home, you have successfully achieved something all hipsters strive for but few actually realize: complete alienation from all other humans.”). I read it while drinking my kale green smoothie in a mason jar as I moved the PBR aside to make room for the red onions I’d just pickled (also in a mason jar) and thinking about how I should really use the brussel sprouts and bacon before they went bad and also about how it would be fun to have food carts at my wedding. Then, because no one else was home, I began talking to the pets, and then my new SCOBY (Symbiotic Colony of Bacteria and Yeast).
Munchkat refers to the SCOBY as my “weird alien bacteria baby,” which has earned it the official title of WeABy (and yes, when I type this into my phone, it autocorrects to the correct capitalization). I received WeABy from one of the nurses at the birth center and have been attempting to make kombucha ever since. The first batch turned out perfectly, but I’ve been having trouble getting it right ever since I moved WeABy to a larger jar (not as bubbly, sometimes too sweet, sometimes too vinegar-y). If anyone has any trouble shooting tips, I’d be much obliged. For those of you interested in making your own kombucha, this is the recipe I followed, except that I used brown sugar instead of white.