I have mixed feelings about this post. Part of me doesn’t believe in New Year’s Resolutions because I don’t believe that we need one more thing in our lives to beat ourselves up over for not “getting it right.” But, the over-riding part is all about goal setting (or “new moon wishing,” for those in the know 😉 ). Last year’s resolution was inspired by Brene Brown and it was to “live with courage and whole-heartedly.” I went to therapy, started reading self-help books and practicing the techniques, developed a home practice, spent a lot of time talking and listening to the voices in my head (“archetypes”, for those who are into new moon wishing) and started to accept and love my whole imperfect self. Whole-hearted living isn’t exactly the sort of thing that you can “achieve;” it’s a practice, so I’m still working at it, but I do feel good about the changes I made in my life.
Speaking of changes – my dear teacher, Jean, told me over break that only 8% of the population keeps their New Year’s resolutions and that is because oftentimes people want something, but they’re not willing to change to get it. I took a look at my goals for 2012 and then took a step back to see what needed to change in my life in order to achieve those goals. I decided it all comes down to food. This is a big deal for me because I don’t cook and haven’t cooked, or gone to the grocery store in three years (and really, let’s be honest, I haven’t cooked in five years, but at least I went to the grocery store while living in Japan). According to my mother’s theory, I can read, therefore I can cook, but I know that in practice it doesn’t always work this way. So my New Year’s Resolution is all about food – learning to shop, learning to cook, learning to eat well and nourish myself in this way. I made a concept map of all this – food/herbs at the center, with lines drawn to the areas in my life that I think can be supported by food, with lines drawn to the goals I have for this year that are supported by the things that can be supported by food. It’s nuts. I know it, and Linds told me so when I showed her. But she also encouraged me to post in online so that people could see my crazy. I wasn’t really into this idea, because I don’t typically want anyone to see my crazy, but then again, that’s part of the practice of whole-hearted living, and, you know, accountability. Damn – two New Year’s resolutions in one.
Here’s my crazy. Be gentle! And Happy New Year and thanks for following!