Fairy Blood and Vampire Bugs

E has suggested we run toothpicks through their hearts.  The bugs that have been chewing me up, that is.  The first 14 bites were from my friend’s wedding in Stern Grove.  The little f***ers got me through a pair of nylons, while I was wearing insect repellent.  The bites swelled and blistered as usual.  They burned and itched so bad I couldn’t sleep, so I experimented with anti-itch creams, band-aids, shorts, long socks, Benadryl and a few other things.  (If anyone is curious, Benadryl provided me with the best sleep; long socks were the answer for comfort during the day.  They didn’t take the itching away, but they prevented my bug bites from rubbing up against anything else – e.g. my pants – which made life slightly more bearable.)

Since the wedding, I’ve been bitten at least another 20 times.  The bites are all concentrated below my knees and the majority are on my feet and ankles (this has become a vicious cycle – my feet hurt so bad I can’t wear shoes, which means my poor feet are exposed all the time, which means they keep getting bit).  Every time I manage to get one set of two or three bites under control, another two or three pop up.  Bite “control” involves a day of mind-boggling burning, followed by a blister, which I then drain.  Draining the blisters isn’t doing anything for preventing scars, but it does mean I get more sleep, as it helps with the itching.  The draining process takes 4-7 days before it dries up and turns into a scab.  Once the bite hits scab level, I’m pretty much home free – it no longer itches and I just have to remember to keep it moisturized.  I have three new bites in the burning phase today.  Beer is proving to be an effective anesthetic.

I have no idea where I’m getting these things.  I thought at first that it was Lindsay’s cats, but her cats are clean and never scratch (themselves, at least.  The couch is another matter).  Plus, Linds and Jon aren’t covered in bites, which I would expect them to be if they were living with flea-infested cats.  Then I thought it was our apartment, but E doesn’t have a single bite, either.  That leaves work and “outside.”  The former doesn’t seem likely (as nobody else who works/takes classes there has my problem) and the latter is just unsatisfying.

E has come up with a new theory – I have fairy blood which makes me irresistible to blood-sucking insects.  I have apparently inherited this fairy blood from my dad’s family – when I complained to my aunt, she recommended lavender and sunscreen.

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