The Munchkat graduated May 15, 2009 from the University of Arizona. It was in a packed Tucson Convention Center – standing room only and 10,000 seats filled. It was a no frills ceremony – no speeches (save the strange one at the beginning that Mom later identified as a request to turn off our cell
phones), no honorary degrees convened. What they did do however, was read EVERY name of all the graduates in the College of Social and Behavioral Sciences. All 1500 of them. The highlights, and all the random stuff between, is best captured in the following transcript:
13:05, Kat: Already bored haha
13:06, Aud: Lol, this reminds me of when you were a frosh and would text in class
13:07, Kat: Haha, I still text in class
13:10, Kat: Haha, so if im reading this name card right, i am the 1770 person to be called
13:12, Aud: Holy shit. I should have brought a longer book
13:13, Kat: Haha, i should have too
13:26, Kat: Haha. They want us to line ourselves up alphabetically. Its like the laast test before we can grad
13:26, Aud: Lol, it’s like a stupid ice breaker
13:27, Kat: At least they’re trying?
13:29, Kat: I know maybe 3ppl down here haha
13:30, Aud: Eh. Won’t be so bad when you puke on them.
13:30, Kat: Haha. True
13:56, Aud: Hmmm, are you lined up yet?
13:57, Kat: Yup. In abc order too
13:58, Aud: Thank god. I was afraid you weren’t graduating
14:16, Aud: The idiot with the airhorn is going to die
14:17, Kat: Haha smack him! And the first half of psych is moving
14:18, Aud: The first half? Christ on a cracker its not even half full
14:20, Kat: Movement!
14:21, Aud: Woot! Jump a little so we know its you
14:53, Aud: Haha! Your dean is so corny
14:55, Kat: I know. Its almost sad. And im completely distracted by the sparkley bling on this girls cap couple rows in front of me
14:57, Aud: I know right. Its like a cockatoos dream down there
14:58, Kat: I know im like, i want a sparkley
14:59, Aud: Down golem. And i dig this guys tv announcer voice
15:00, Kat: Its vader!
15:00, Aud: Totally!
15:01, Kat: Sparkley is from secrets of nimh thank you. And i want him to say lets get ready to rumble
15:02, Kat: Or, you shall not pass
15:03, Aud: Hahahaha! I cant believe its real!
15:04, Aud: I feel bad for the woman. She cant compete
15:04, Kat: Yeah i want to know what he sounds like normally
15:05, Aud: Could you imagine being in lecture with this guy?
15:07, Kat: Would never fall asleep haha
15:08, Aud: But youd always wonder what he was selling. Oh man. Underwear
15:08, Kat: Nothin like a lil man flesh
15:09, Aud: I wanted to see nipples
15:10, Kat: Haha. Yeah if youre gonna flash do it well
15:29, Aud: I think we hit half way. These pizza and coffee signs are mocking me
15:30, Kat: Mock mock mock haha
15:31, Aud: Wait were you around for that? The mocking brownie?
15:31, Kat: Maybe?
15:34, Aud: Its just that without having heard each other mom and ab gave the brownie the same mock mock mock voice
15:41, Aud: This is not abc order
15:42, Kat: I know they lied haha
15:42, Aud: Are we even in your major anymore
15:43, Kat: Yeah. Just a diff guy presenting
15:46, Aud: Oh for some reason i heard communications…
13:46, Kat: Next row is me
13:52, Aud: Congratulations!
13:57, Kat: Thanks! And its 2 majors at once
14:02, Aud: The man said cake
14:03, Kat: Head out