In my moated sugar-cube castle

“If I was told to vacate my apartment by next week, I wouldn’t ask around or consult the real estate listings. Instead, I’d just imagine myself living in a moated sugar-cube castle, floating from room to room on a king-size magic carpet.” – David Sedaris, Me Talk Pretty One Day

I had to fill out a collegiate loan today. I realize that this is not unique or special, that everyone needs to take out a loan for college, but I discovered that I really hate the little mundane details in life. I just recently had the revelation that I don’t like to cook. In fact, I probably wouldn’t eat if it weren’t for all the other people in my life who care enough about me to feed me from time to time. It’s not that I’m incapable of taking care of myself, it’s just that I forget about eating and doing laundry and applying for loans because my give-a-shit for these things is real low. Sometimes I worry that I might become one of those people who “just needs creative chaos in their life,” resulting in my being disorganized and perpetually living in the dark and without water because I can’t manage to pay the bills on time. I like money and I understand why interest and investing is important, but the less paper-work, the less online money management sites I have to visit, the happier I am. I guess I also worry that if I start caring about these things, I will let them rule my life. In my mind, worse than becoming a person who needs “creative chaos,” is becoming the kind of person who can’t sit down and read a book all day. Maybe there is a part of me that knows that all too soon I will have to deal with the details of life and knows that I am the kind of person who will get wrapped up in them and that all my favorite books will go unread and be redefined as “coasters.” Perhaps this is some sort of self-defense mechanism that is allowing me to cling to the remnants of my childhood. Either that or I’m really goddamn lazy.

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